Wordless Wednesday: The Li'l...Something

This picture - from the Little Man's expression to his actions to the words on his shirt - pretty much sums up my son today. It's a good thing that I love him...and that he's so cute. Cause he sure was rotten!

My Cute "Little Devil"

I'll take a coffee with a side of self defense

Valentine's Day is rough for a family with a deployed spouse. Nothing like watching the hearts, the candy, the jewelry, the romance commercials to help remind you of how much you miss your spouse. How lonely you are without them. How badly you want them home.

But I found something to look forward to this Valentine's Day. A cause I believe in. And? I get to spoil myself with an overpriced Starbucks coffee without feeling guilty. Can't get any better than that without having my hubby home!

It was recently brought to my attention that Starbucks' Pro-Gun Policy is prompting Gun Victims Advocate Group to launch a nationwide boycott on Valentine's Day. Now - for a variety of reasons - I don't usually carry a gun, concealed or otherwise, but I do have a permit to carry. And I'm very behind every citizen's right to "keep and bear arms." Considering that it is the 2nd Amendment in our Constitution, I'm thinking it's a pretty big deal.

"WHY STARBUCKS?  Currently, Starbucks allows guns and assault weapons to be openly carried in its stores (in 43 states) and concealed and carried in its stores (in 49 states). Starbucks’ compliance with the National Rifle Association’s Pro-Gun Agenda was exposed in 2010 when members of the “open carry” movement began meeting in popular chains, such as California Pizza Kitchen, Peets, IKEA, Disney and Starbucks openly carrying their handguns and assault rifles.

To protect their customers and employees, all of the retail chains—except for Starbucks— banned guns from being carried in their stores."

Talk about good exposure. All I can say is "Bravo, Starbucks!" Way to stand up to the peer pressure without bending! Starbucks current, and long standing, policy is to comply with the local laws and statutes of the communities they provide services to. I respect this and every freedom loving American should as well. Instead of taking an issue with the company itself, they should take their issue to the local governments who make the laws.

In response to the national Starbucks' boycott, I'm taking myself on a date to treat myself to a White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha on Valentine's Day. And making sure that I let them know that I'm there in support of them honoring the local gun laws. I'm thinking a picture of coffee and a gun might just be the order of the day.

And, who knows, maybe you'll even see me packing heat.

Picture Borrowed from Ammoland.com

Humbled by a Child

This last week has been rough on me. Between missing my husband, battling sickness in both myself and my children, and a major lack of sleep, I've found myself complaining a lot. Complaining about how rough it is to be a single mom. Complaining about how hard it is to operate on so little sleep. Irritable with the Army for taking my love so far away. Frustrated over the sickness that we can't quite seem to kick out of the house. I've just been down.

But a few minutes ago I read the status update of a friend of mine who's daughter is battling cancer. You might remember my blog about sweet Mercede that I wrote this last fall. If you haven't read it yet, you need to. I've never met her but have heard glowing reports of her from my nephew and my sister. I also follow her Facebook updates faithfully. Today's update has me in tears, even twenty minutes after reading it.

Stronger (photo credit: Flashes of Hope)

~ Mercede's Story

Our day started with more tests...an ekg, an ultrasound of her liver. Then the doctor asked to talk to me and Steve alone. We have learned that means bad news, and it was. Mercede's bone marrow biopsy showed that she has 95% leukemia cells in her marrow, which means not only did the last round of chemo not work, the leukemia actually increased by 25%. This news did not come as a shock to me because I have watched Mercede's pain increase and her health decline over the last week especially. There is no specific protocol to follow at this point. Mercede's oncologists and transplant doctor discussed what the best course of action would be and decided not to use the same chemo for this next round. They are going to use one that worked to get her into remission in the first place and add a new one to that. The risks to her if we do this are big, but we are out of options. We have no other choice. She will start chemo tomorrow morning and will remain in intensive care. My response to all of this today has been....peace. God is in control of this situation and Mercede's life and all I can do is pray harder than I've ever prayed before and trust Him. As a parent that is the single hardest thing to do. But if you really think about it, our children are really His anyway, just entrusted to us for a while to love and care for...and learn from. You would think it would be the other way around, that she is here for me to teach. But I have learned more about life and God and true faith and joy from my daughter than from any other person I know. She doesn't care about money or possessions, houses or cars or clothes...the way you look or fix your hair means nothing to her. What is important to her? People and the time she spends with those she loves. Her faith in God isn't based on what He does for her, she isn't afraid of her circumstances and doesn't doubt God's ability to save her, with or without chemo and protocols. Her exact words to me today were, " Mommy, just because the chemo isn't working that doesn't mean God isn't going to heal me. He doesn't need chemo to fight leukemia. His power is stronger than that." She has endured more pain and suffering than any adult I know, but she tries her best to keep a smile on her face. We aren't talking about little struggles here, we are talking about a Iife and death fight for the past eight months...with a smile on her face. I, for one, am convicted of my griping and complaining, the time I've wasted worrying about unimportant things, and my lack of complete trust in the God who made me. If the only good that comes from this horrible situation is that people read Mercede's story and change the way they live, love their family more, only search after the things that really matter, and love God unconditionally, then her story is worth telling.
I would like to ask a favor of all of you. Our little friend Claire, who is up here with us in a life or death fight of her own, needs your prayers. She is only two and fighting neuroblastoma that was also unresponsive to chemo. She has an army praying for her at 8:30 everyday, the time she was born. I would like to ask all of you to join in that prayer time for Claire. I would also like to do the same thing for Mercede. She was born at 12:00. Would you please join together with us in prayer at 12:00 everyday for a miracle for Mercede? There is power when people come together in prayer and we need God's healing power for both of these amazing girls. ll Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind."

Once again, I have been humbled and inspired by this amazing girl. Her sweet attitude, her strong faith, her amazing fighting spirit. It reminds me of how small and insignificant my problems are in comparison. While my children battle colds the slightly interrupt their (and my) sleep, Cede battles cancer that tries to seep the life out of her. While I complain about my small hardships Cede finds a positive outlook and a faith to carry her through. God, that You could grant me have even half the faith, sweetness and courage that this child expresses!

Cede with her parents (photo credit: Flashes of hope)

Cede and her siblings
(Photo credit: Flashes of Hope)

Please, please, please pray with me for Mercede and her family as well as for little Claire. And remember, no matter how hard your day is there is a God who's power is stronger!

Claire and Cede

**A quick update - Two year old Claire went to be with Jesus today...God decided her time on earth, with all its pain and suffering, was over. So instead of praying for sweet Claire, please pray for her family as they deal with the pain of her loss!

Wordless Wednesday: He's HOME!!!

Just a few pics from Homecoming Day - I'll post R&R pics after he leaves. Right now I'm just enjoying time with my soldier :)

            

Seeing him for the first time

                                                                                           

First Hug!!!

Happy Tears

Not too Sure about this man claiming to be Daddy!

Holding both his kiddos




                                           

Happy to Have her Daddy!

Toys Daddy Brought Home From his layover in Ireland

THERE'S Daddy!!!

Ok, I'll let you hold me!

Daddy's Girl

Smiles

Christmas Day

I Don't Want to Miss A Thing

Yesterday will most definitely go down as one of the best days of my life. After six very long months (and this last week being long enough to qualify as three), I finally have my husband home. It was a long, hard day filled with emotional ups and downs but once my husband was in my arms again all the frustrations of the day meant nothing. The only thing that mattered was that he was home!!!!

I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who discovered they got everything on their Christmas list. Even the real pony!

My biggest concern was that the Li'l Diva wouldn't want anything to do with the daddy she hasn't seen in so long; that she would take a long time to warm up to him. All my fears were for nought! She was a bit hesitant at first ,though all smiles; within minutes she was quite happy to be in Daddy arms. For the rest of the evening she just wanted her daddy. She wanted to sit by him at the restaurant, she wanted him to change her dirty diaper (lucky for me, I've got a guy who doesn't mind being on diaper duty!), she wanted to hold his hand while he was driving. The role of "Daddy's Girl" was slipped back into as though he had only been gone for a few days and not several months. And Daddy is more tightly wrapped around her little finger than ever.

The Little Man is still not sure who this man is that is claiming to be "Daddy" (I thought he was just that man in the pictures???) but his friendly, easy going personality - and the fact that this new man is so much fun and feeds him lots of food - has made the transition an easy one.

Last night, after all the craziness of the day was over, I laid there next to sleeping husband completely exhausted but not wanting to sleep. My Soldier's time here is so short that I want to savor every moment of it. Floating through my mind were they lyrics "I don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep, 'cause I'll miss you babe. And I don't want to miss a thing. Even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do. I'd still miss you babe, and I don't want to miss a thing." The song embodied everything I felt at that moment. The sweetness. The happiness. The love. The desire to hold on tight and never let go again.

I want to remember these moments forever. The smell of him. The children's laughter. The feel of his arms around me. The smiles. The perfection of the night. For the next two weeks I plan to treasure every fleeting moment. My Christmas has come early and it is perfection.

Merry Christmas to you all and may you all have as wonderful a Christmas as mine!!!

Daddy's Girl 

Happy to be a whole family again!

P.S. More pictures to come later!!!

Daddy Picture Books Project

Before my husband deployed I asked some of my military wife friends for ideas to help my children keep daddy real, even if they don't actually remember them. I received some wonderful tips and have implemented several of them.

Scattered around the house are various pictures of Daddy, some of him in uniform and some not. We also Skype occasionally and talk on the phone frequently. I try to talk about Daddy frequently - anything I can to keep him fresh in their minds. We got them Build-A-Bears with a little voice recording inside personalized for each child (and my sweet hubby got one for me!). I bought picture dog tags personalized for my kiddos (and myself) that hang around their Build-A-Bear's necks.

The kiddos playing with their "Daddy Picture Books"

One of my favorite ideas, though, was a personalized picture book. I put it off for a while because the recommendation was to get the pictures laminated in order to hold up under the use of toddler hands. I wasn't sure where to get them laminated (and, being perfectly honest here, I didn't really put in the energy to look!).  

After much procrastination I stumbled across a laminator on sale and found myself without excuse! I ordered it, along with some laminating pouches to fit my 4X6 pictures; I used 20 pictures per book, placing them back to back which meant that I needed a total of 20 pouches. After I laminated the pictures I used a hole-punch and then stuck a key chain ring through the whole to hold it together. I'm thinking I might have to use two key chain rings per book but otherwise they are perfect. Each book contains pictures of that child with their daddy doing various activities (swinging, eating, sleeping, etc). Some are pictures of us as a family. It's absolutely perfect. Easy to make - I definitely recommend it! I'm planning on making another one of extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) to keep faces familiar :)

The Li'l Diva's "Daddy Photo Book"
(her's has a flashlight attached)

Inside

Little Man's Daddy Picture Book
(isn't this picture the sweetest thing ever???)

Inside Shot 

  

The Li'l Diva with her Daddy Photo Book

Pointing and saying "Daddy" - totally melts my heart!

Little Man with his Build-A-Bear - complete with ACU's

The Li'l Diva with her Build-A-Bear (er, uh, Monkey)
She refuses to keep it's clothes on. She has also named him "Daddy George" in honor
of her love for daddy mixed with her love for Curious George

All I Want for Christmas is You

Holidays are a big deal for me. It isn't so much about the holiday itself as it is the family time. It's about getting together and enjoying lots of food and laughs and quality time together. This past Thanksgiving I spent with my husband's side of the family. And while his parents treat me like a daughter, with the extended family I'm definitely "the wife" even after 4 1/2 years of marriage and two kids. So the family function that has always been  an awkward and uncomfortable situation when spent with his extended family was a triple reminder of how much I missed my husband. How much I wished he was home. None of this was made better by the fact that my children were sick and clingy and crabby. And very unfriendly.

It all made me realize how much I wanted my husband home for Christmas. Last year I was bemoaning the fact that the only ones I had to spend Christmas with was my husband and children...this year I would have lots of family and friends but no husband. And it was killing me. Nearly every Christmas song was just another depressor. From "I'll be Home for Christmas" to "Blue Christmas" to Michael Buble's version of "All I Want for Christmas is You." I was a veritable watering pot. It'd been over five months since I had seen my husband off to a war zone and I was ready to have him safe in my arms again. Even if just for our two week R&R.

Which made it so much worse when he called to say that the January date that he was supposed to come home on R&R wasn't going to happen. He had a required two week training which just happened to fall on the very date he was supposed to be back in the States. I was devastated. Suddenly less than two months went to over two months and no amount of positive thinking was working. I just wanted my husband. I wanted to kiss him and hold him. I wanted him next to me in bed at night. I wanted to cuddle with him on the couch. I wanted to watch him playing with our children. I wanted him home. I felt angry, depressed, sad - everything except a holiday spirit.

Then, in one phone call, everything changed. My husband called to let me know that he'd be home early...he'd be home for Christmas. Out with the anti-depression ::almost:: cure (aka chocolate) and in with the pedicures and mistletoe! My Christmas wish did come true. I've got the best Christmas Gift of all coming my way. 

This Christmas may or may not be white - to be honest, I don't really care - but it certainly won't be blue. We've got Christmas plans made, a cabin booked, and alone time scheduled. Oh, and lots of snuggle time planned. So, if you don't hear from me over Christmas and New Years...well, don't worry about me, I'm busy!

My new favorite Christmas song: