Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Wordless Wednesday: Kissing My Baby Goodbye

My Li'l Diva's third birth is sneaking up closer and closer. Just over two months away. She's been growing, both physically and mentally, like a weed. She's almost completely potty trained, know's all of her letters and can count to 13. Her logic is a little out there but well developed for her age. And her imagination is just amazing. She's swiftly going from a toddler to a preschooler. I feel like I'm kissing my baby goodbye to welcome a little girl. And while I'm so proud of who she's growing into there's a part of me that's just not ready for that yet. Time is proving to be too fleeting. I want to hold onto my baby girl just a little bit longer.

When did this:
(June 28, 2009)

 Turn into this?
(April 16, 2012)

"Cooking and cleaning can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.
So settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep"
~Author Unknown

Sunday, April 1, 2012


Someone once told me that deployment is like going through pregnancy. The first few months are rough then the middle part gets much easier as you realize you're not going to die and you can do this. Then the end is super hard and feels longer than the whole rest of it put together. I'm not going to say that I didn't believe her. It's my first deployment so what do I know about it? But I didn't realize how right she was.

The final trimester of pregnancy has always been the hardest on me. I'm uncomfortable, have terrible heartburn, ready to feel like a normal person again, and REALLY ready to see the sweet little face. And it feels like it drags on. Forever. And I'm just ready to be done!

That's basically how I feel as we've entered the last "trimester" er, quarter or whatever you want to call it, of this deployment. I'm so ready to be done. My emotions have been all over the place. I want to feel like a family again. I want to feel like a whole person again. I'm ready to snuggle up with my husband and talk if we feel like talking or just sit in companionable silence. I want to see my kiddos faces light up when Daddy walks through the door. I want to cook him a meal and have him complain because I snuck sour cream or something healthy in it but eat extra helpings of it anyways because he either secretly likes it or just doesn't want me to feel too bad. I want to see the children give him slobbery kisses on his face instead of all over my computer/phone screen.

And I've had heartburn (can someone please tell my body that I'm not pregnant???). Not cool. Not cool at all.

I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it. When I see him again. When I have him home safe and in my arms, it will be worth it. This deployment has made us stronger. As individuals and as a couple. Stronger in our walk with God, stronger in our personal lives, stronger in our marriage. It has tested our love and commitment and proven that we are bigger than the miles that separate us. We are stronger than the stress of a deployment. "For better or for worse" weren't just words - they were a vow that we have stayed faithful to. And I know that it really will be worth it. We are better people, stronger people, than we were a year ago. And for that I'm grateful.

But for right now, I'm ready to be done.