They say that opposites attract. As a matter of fact, it is the very essence of love stories and fairytales. Boy meets girl. One is outgoing and happy go lucky; the other is shy and inverted. One is all grace and elegance; the other is clumsy and scatter brained. They fall in love...and when they finally realize that they just cannot possibly live without each other everyone "Awwws" and maybe even a tear or two is shed and they all live "happily ever after." I always wondered why they never told about the story that happens within the happily ever after.
My husband and I are two such opposites living our happily ever after. And when I say "opposite" I mean "opposite!"
Jeremiah, the absolute love of my life, is a high energy, charismatic, out going, could-make-a-friend-out-of-a-brick-wall kind of guy. If he's still for more than 15 minutes he's either sleeping or he's sick. If you've ever seen Hoodwinked, cross the rather high energy squirrel with the mountain goat ("I was prepared!") and you've got my husband! He's very detail oriented, likes things clean, neat, and orderly and always has a game plan.
Then there's me. I could sit and read books, play on the computer, and watch movies all day and be perfectly happy. I am clumsy, forgetful, scatter-brained, very easily distracted, and a terrible procrastinator (read as - I'm excellent at finding excuses to put off what I don't want to do!). I have a tendency to live with my head in the clouds and just kind of fly by the seat of my pants.
He's a steak and potatoes kind of guy and I'm more of a pasta and salads kind of gal.
Now, when you're dating, these kinds of differences are cute and sweet. You laugh at the fact that you're boyfriend can run circles around you. You think it's funny the way your girlfriend is always losing things. When you're married those differences can get really old, really fast.
You find it annoying that your husband is secretly the Energizer Bunny on steroids...and having your wife lose the coupon that you handed her less than five minutes ago is irritating beyond words. Throw a couple of babies in there, some "postal" pregnancy hormones, a major lack of sleep, a high stress job, and two rather different parenting styles and it can be a recipe for disaster. You find yourself fighting about petty things, snapping at each other (and the kids) and taking everything the wrong way. Of course, this is all completely hypothetical and none of this has ever taken place in our home...*insert hysterical laughter*
You forget what was so important during that dating stage. Relationships are about communication and compromise. Learning how to use those opposites to each other's advantage. It's the husband taking the kids to McDonalds in the morning so his wife can catch a little bit of extra sleep; the wife handling all the bills while her husband is at work so that he doesn't have to stress over that "one more thing" when he gets home. It's learning to work as a team. It isn't always easy...some days it's a lot of hard work - giving 100% of yourself - but it's worth it. It occasional means setting aside your wishes and desires for those of your spouse.
And sometimes it's about just fixing a little pasta to go along with that nice juicy steak.