Thursday, June 16, 2016

The One I Want When My Dreams Come True...and When They Don't.

Nine years ago I spent over half the night wide awake wondering what I was about to get myself into. Was I making the right decision? Forever is an awfully long time. I was on the verge of a panic attack and wondering if I was crazy. I wonder if I had gotten a glimpse then of what my future would hold - the military life, babies, deployment, infertility, Alaska (no, really, I have a bear skull on my WALL!!!) - if the *me* of that time would have freaked out and become The Runaway Bride. It was certainly not the calm, quiet, stable, life I had envisioned.

But I'm glad I walked down that aisle and said "I do." I don't think any glimpse into my future could have possibly shown me how happy I'd be. Not some giddy "high" happy all the time; rather a deeply contented joy. Certainly no glimpse into my future could have truly displayed how much the man I was about to marry would come to mean to me.

We've faced some very high highs and some very low lows. Some of our dreams have come true while others have fallen apart. Through it all I've become far more independent yet in it my husband and I have grown infinitely closer. I came to realize that I didn't need my husband for survival but rather I want him because my life is indescribably more happy when he's around. My happiness is not dependent on him but I find it so much easier to be happy when I am with him. I don't just love him, I really, really like him. I like to be around him, to be with him. To laugh and to cry with him, to be silly and serious with him. He pushes me to grow, try new things, and become a better version of myself. He loves me when I'm being unlovable. He know how to make me madder than a hot pepper and how to make me swoon like a fainting goat. He's my Spirit of Adventure. He's not just my lover, he's my best friend. Even after 9 years of marriage he still gives me butterflies.

He's the one I want by my side when my dream's come true...and he's the one I want by my side when the don't.

1 comment:

  1. Yes, this is indeed a small world up here. I bet our paths have crossed! If you ever see a crazy lady in a red wheelchair, with 4 kids at the commissary....that is me!

    Yes, marriage, especially to a man in the Army, is one unique adventure!