Holidays are a big deal for me. It isn't so much about the holiday itself as it is the family time. It's about getting together and enjoying lots of food and laughs and quality time together. This past Thanksgiving I spent with my husband's side of the family. And while his parents treat me like a daughter, with the extended family I'm definitely "the wife" even after 4 1/2 years of marriage and two kids. So the family function that has always been an awkward and uncomfortable situation when spent with his extended family was a triple reminder of how much I missed my husband. How much I wished he was home. None of this was made better by the fact that my children were sick and clingy and crabby. And very unfriendly.
It all made me realize how much I wanted my husband home for Christmas. Last year I was bemoaning the fact that the only ones I had to spend Christmas with was my husband and children...this year I would have lots of family and friends but no husband. And it was killing me. Nearly every Christmas song was just another depressor. From "I'll be Home for Christmas" to "Blue Christmas" to Michael Buble's version of "All I Want for Christmas is You." I was a veritable watering pot. It'd been over five months since I had seen my husband off to a war zone and I was ready to have him safe in my arms again. Even if just for our two week R&R.
Which made it so much worse when he called to say that the January date that he was supposed to come home on R&R wasn't going to happen. He had a required two week training which just happened to fall on the very date he was supposed to be back in the States. I was devastated. Suddenly less than two months went to over two months and no amount of positive thinking was working. I just wanted my husband. I wanted to kiss him and hold him. I wanted him next to me in bed at night. I wanted to cuddle with him on the couch. I wanted to watch him playing with our children. I wanted him home. I felt angry, depressed, sad - everything except a holiday spirit.
Then, in one phone call, everything changed. My husband called to let me know that he'd be home early...he'd be home for Christmas. Out with the anti-depression ::almost:: cure (aka chocolate) and in with the pedicures and mistletoe! My Christmas wish did come true. I've got the best Christmas Gift of all coming my way.
This Christmas may or may not be white - to be honest, I don't really care - but it certainly won't be blue. We've got Christmas plans made, a cabin booked, and alone time scheduled. Oh, and lots of snuggle time planned. So, if you don't hear from me over Christmas and New Years...well, don't worry about me, I'm busy!
My new favorite Christmas song: